Professional Sweetheart Bonus Hang: 5/29/24
Hunting High and Low
Hey everyone! Here’s a completely free and open bonus post for all subscribers. Paid folks get these in their inbox every other Tuesday or Wednesday, so (*D’Angelo voice*) if you want it, you got it for-EVAAA by clicking this link:
So! I’m not sure if you follow me on social media (this is NOT a plea to, by the way - I suck on all platforms) but late last week I posted a story from the local AMC movie theater near my house right after someone had just thrown a lit firework into the audience an hour into the premiere of Furiosa (2024). As a result, everyone ran, the entire building was shut down, and the fire department/police had to come out. Just really fun stuff.
(I did like seeing the Animal House firefighters, though.)
Listen, I was obviously a stupid teenager once. Even though I was sort of prank-adverse (though I do LOVE seeing other people do them), I know for a fact I was super obnoxious in pretty much every other way, including the fact that I used to drive to downtown Atlanta and write poetry in what I thought were moody public cafes while chain smoking cigarettes. However, lighting fireworks indoors? Simply a bridge too far. Even if it’s a sparkler or something else super boring in the fireworks family, I promise you everyone will think it’s a bomb, as was indicated by people running for the emergency exits after seeing a stream of fire cascading over the seats. I swear, between this and the teenage girl food throwing incident that happened during our screening of Lisa Frankenstein (2024) (which I talked about on this bonus episode of I Saw What You Did), I just made a promise that I will never go to the movies on the last week of school and/or any school holiday ever again. You can take it to the bank!
Thanks, George Miller - now I’m obsessed with Praetorian Jack. The guy who plays him looks like he’s in an 80’s New Romantic/New Wave band like Ultravox or A-Ha or something and I am ALL IN.
Needless to say, they didn’t let anyone back in the theater, so we had to go home having only seen the first hour of the film. (Thankfully we got a refund!) I finally circled back to it last night so I could actually finish the movie, and I’m happy to report there were no teenage antics in the theater this time. I know there’s probably tons of you who haven’t seen it yet so my quick and dirty thoughts are: I loved it, just as I’ve loved every single minute of this franchise since 1979. Honestly, there’s nothing more fun than these Mad Max movies for me, at this point. I’m just so grateful we have consistent, bonkers, Australian genre filmmaking happening at a Hollywood level, even though when this movie first got announced, I admittedly was very worried! I guess I was freaked out that they would be messing with the perfection that is Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), and especially that both Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron would not be in the new one. There are obviously practical reasons for this; it’s a prequel, I’m sure both of those actors swore off ever doing a movie like that again, etc. But once you get an electric pairing, you can’t imagine another! Like, I am very committed to Charlize Theron as Furiosa. (Or her in any action movie she does, to be honest.) And you already know how I feel about the maniac Tom Hardy (and if you don’t: I’m obsessed). Plus, how many of these prequels/postquels/reworkings/smashups/badonkadonks do we really, actually need in life? Most of the time, younger versions of characters should be left to thought experiments only! However, and again, without giving anything away, I’ll just say I had very little issue after Furiosa ended. The only thing I can emphatically say is this: the War Rig is the single greatest vehicle in cinema history, and I could watch hours upon hours of people trying to both get on to it and protect it. It’s like the Winchester Mystery House of trucks but somehow is the only thing to get the job done, ever. I swear I’ve never, ever been even remotely close to imagining a Titane (2021) situation for myself but this thing is 100% SEXY. Any time the movies devote huge scenes to it, I feel absolute joy on a level that cannot be adequately expressed in a Substack post.
See you on Friday!
Millie
Dude I'm a newcomer to the Mad Max universe as of this year and holy shit, I love it! Furiosa was great in the theater (also loud af, I always bring ear plugs to the theater just in case :P) My partner and I sat down and watched the orginal 3 Mad Max films with Mel G recently (over a few different nights) and it was so fun to see the world building that led to some of the most fun action sequences I've ever seen in Fury Road. The costume department for Mad Max 2 and 3 were at the fucking ready with football pads and black paint. Leather daddies in the desert babbyyy let's gooo.
Yes! Honestly I felt the same when I heard that Furiosa would be a prequel as opposed to a continuation of the Charlize Theron version, maybe still scarred from the mess that are the Star Wars prequels? Anyhoo, LOVED Furiosa! Anya Taylor-Joy was great, Hemsworth was the best, and yes, Praetorian Jack was awesome and had me longing for a Midnight Oil video. Can we just applaud George Miller for this world he's created and put him on the Mt. Rushmore of coming up with character names? The Toecutter, Lord Humongous, Auntie Entity, Rictus Erectus, Immortan Joe? I mean c'mon!